Our last night…
I remember it like I’m there now
A better way to show my love
I don’t know how
Our tears became one steady stream
I could not put in words
Exactly what that moment meant…to me…
I wiped the tears from your eyes
And you wiped those from mine
Now…I wish your fingers were here
To once again make my face dry
But there are no longer any fingers
Softly running across my face
Where you lay with me before…
Is now filled with empty space
I wish you were here with me
I miss you like crazy
And It hurts to know that you’re gone
I never thought that you and I
Would be apart for so long
I miss your voice
Even your singing
Listening to the stories you’d tell
I miss hugging you
I miss the way you feel in my arms
I miss your smell
I miss looking into your eyes
My senses are going crazy
Because I’ve lost a familiar stimuli
They refuse to tell you goodbye
Your smile is bright enough
To make all my days clear
Picture perfect
No other can compare
No matter how you wear your hair
You’re always my maiden fair
You mean the world to me
You make me feel like I can do it all
You’re there when I need a shoulder
Always at the end of the line when I call
I wish I could be there for you
For now…look for me in your heart
You’re here in mine
So we’re never really apart
When I think of how much I miss you
Tears slowly come to my eyes
But when I close them I can feel you
Right here by my side…
Breaking the Silenc3 
Nice poem, the only thing I would change structurally is the “…”
LikeLike
Thanks. What would you suggest?
LikeLike
I feel it works for some of the lines, but others could use a semi colon or a comma instead to create a little less of a pause in the line. For example
“I could not put in words
Exactly what that moment meant…to me…”
For this I would cut the last “…” off and finish it with a full stop for impact. You could even try this:
“I could not put in words
Exactly what that moment meant
To me.”
There is so much you can do to create impact. The “…” is nice in some places, but I’d definitely not over use the function of it.
I hope I was helpful!
LikeLike
Thanks. Some of my old work is filled with “…”. I can honestly say that I did overuse it. I try to edit them out before I post most times.
LikeLiked by 1 person