Conflicted Memories

conflicted memories

I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh
But I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry
We shared those moments that you could never buy
I loved everything about you
Especially the way I felt when around you
I want to be there for you forever
But your actions are telling me never
Trust is not easy to attain, it must first be earned
Experiences teach us the worst lessons learned
Every time I think a good thought of you
A bad one comes to mind too
What am I to do?
Fighting with myself to stay mad
When my heart just wants to love
Telling my body to run
Into your arms, though they always remained closed
No matter how close
We got
You could make me smile, then flip the script
Hurting my deepest feelings
Those I didn’t remember were there
At times I would have to ask if you cared
Then you would do something to show
That a heart was still there
I remember being happy around you
Yet I remember more being sad
I want to forget about all the bad we went through
But that will never be a reality to me
When I have to fight
Constant memories…

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