One Step At A Time

Hindsight is a kick in the ass if I ever felt one. I blew up at my girlfriend last night. I should have been able to see that she was only acting out for the entire day because she didn’t want to feel certain emotions. Then again, I’m not perfect. I don’t like not certain feelings myself, and that’s why I explode. I’m learning not to hold things in, but I still have to learn to control the expressions of them.

The thing that made me go crazy was her refusal to lean on me right after some choice words by her. Yup. That’s all. I like open channels in love that we have. That’s all I ever have to ask for.

It may be more personal and psychological than that, but that’s all I can come up with. Now I have to find a way to show her that I still care and that she is off the hook. Halfway at least.

It’s probably bad that I try to force her to speak to me, but I don’t like her holding things in that bother her. Compromise might be needed here. I know if she’d told me exactly what it was earlier, I would have reacted differently. I see now that I also need to work on me. I should always respond with love no matter what.

With the nature of what is actually bothering her, I’ll keep all my opinions to myself. I just know I’m going to say the wrong thing. I’m already thinking the wrong things. Being selfless really takes a toll sometimes. It’s alot of work to put someone else before yourself, but of course, she’s worth it.

I’ll do better next time. I know it.

New Love

New love is a beautiful thing. There’s all the feelings of bliss. The honeymoon phase and all that. It can last for months and even maybe a couple years. Sometimes though it barely lasts weeks.

After what I have seen and experienced, I believe that new love should be nurtured for a while. Meaning that new love should have some kind of foundation. Dating can lead to new love, but dating should last longer than just a couple months. Maybe even a year to a year and a half. A foundation of friendship is one of the best ways to keep relationships going for the long run. Most of the greatest love stories start with “We knew each other for all our lives” or “We were friends for years”.

This kind of love is usually the one that lasts for a lifetime. When people say that they can’t enter relationships with their best friends because they don’t want to change the relationship, I don’t understand it. Being in a relationship should feel no different than being with someone you can call your best friend at the end of the day. I believe that being in love with your best friend is something that can lead to a lifetime of love and happiness. When that new love hatches, it will grow into something beautiful.

This Will Do. For Now.

Right here and right now in the light of the moon

There is something that I need to say

Yes I am and one knee and no I will not get up

This is where I want to be

From here I can show you all the respect you deserve

You have always helped me understand my worth

I exalt and honor you above all and before all I kneel

To express my undying love for you

I surrender my life to you from this day

Until the last day that I take breath

I will give up my life of solitude

Because I’d rather spend an eternity with you

Although I have no ring now

On this night I give to you a preview

Of the day I make it official

The day I make you feel the most special

Sorrow Filled Showers

A broken heart can be the beginning of the storm

One where a dark cloud looms over you

Overshadowing all happy thoughts

There seems to be no escape from the pain

The negative feelings rain

 

The showers are endless

Relentless

No matter whee you go

No matter what you do

The water pours all around you

You fear that you may drown

 

Unknown Effects

She has no idea the way she makes me feel

Every single day is

The best day ever

I never knew it could be like this

The bliss

That we share in each kiss

She’s my sunrise

My sunset

My moonlight

My gentle breeze

She is my everything

I just hope she gets to know that

The way she got to know me

The More You Love

Love is a condition where we sacrifice

A little more of ourselves each day

We put up our hearts to be hurt

Which may sometimes happen

The normal defenses that are set up

Are taken down

Vulnerability is accepted

The inevitability of it is felt

In every action

And every moment

Yet we do not hinder

When you love at your highest

The worst pain ever felt

May be heading your way

Handy Man

He was good at fixing the relationships of others

Although he could never seem to start his own

When ill-treated women needed an ear he was there

He treated them better than they had ever been before

He laid the plans out for them to see

Showed the way that real relationships should be

In the end they realized they could do better

Then the men realized it too

They would fix their act and get back on track

He knew that his job here was through

The time never available before was now being made

She forgot about our hero and from her life he’d fade

Even though they were just friends

It didn’t mean that he couldn’t miss her

His job was over now

They no longer needed

The relationship fixer…

Up Here

I wish I could take you up to the moon

To share the view of the stars

With the one I love most

The perfect date

Pointing out constellations

Wishing on stars as they fall

As we fall more and more

In love with each other

As your smile outshines the moon

I will stare at you

My greatest wonder

Lingering Stare

Her stare lingers on me

She looks over her shoulder

No words are exchanged

Just a stare between lovers

The longer we’re connected

The more I feel myself falling

A desire for her bulds in my stomach

I want her

I crave for her touch

She smiles at me

Still staring

She bites her lip

Maybe she’s feeling

The same thing I am

Stepping forward

She comes to me

She kisses my lips

There’s no hunger or desire from either of us

It’s soft and gentle

The lack of eroticism entices me

I want her more than ever right now