Shattered Gold
Fickle fickle creatures
Dying for attention
Throwing away what they have
When they feel they can get more
Giving up anything
For something less sure
Greedy
Hypocrites
Doing harm to those
They swear show no care
Turning their backs
On the ones truly there
Gotta accept it
Life was never fair
He was good at fixing the relationships of others
Although he could never seem to start his own
When ill-treated women needed an ear he was there
He treated them better than they had ever been before
He laid the plans out for them to see
Showed the way that real relationships should be
In the end they realized they could do better
Then the men realized it too
They would fix their act and get back on track
He knew that his job here was through
The time never available before was now being made
She forgot about our hero and from her life he’d fade
Even though they were just friends
It didn’t mean that he couldn’t miss her
His job was over now
They no longer needed
The relationship fixer…
He ripped it out of his chest
Ready to give it to her
It beat quickly in the palm of his hand
It was excited about the destination
He smiled at it and it smiled back
The walked together
To her
They round the corner
Then they saw it
Both of them almost broke
At the same time
For she was in the arms of another
He looked down at his heart
It did not catch his gaze
For it was still focused on the sight before it
It got heavier in his hand
It finally looked back to him
Then to the hole he had made
It sighed and nodded
It was going back in again
It felt unwanted
Yet again turned down
It beat slowly
Sadly
He put it back in his chest
Where he would protect it
The two would never be alone
Because they had each other
He’s burnt by his love
A love strong that it destroys him
From the inside out
He shouts
But no one listens
His story goes unheard
His cries unanswered
Unable to find someone
To cool him down
He continues to combust
The wind simply
Blows away the dust
And
The ashes
That his love
Left behind
She had given up everything she had for him
Changed on the outside and even within
Even her outlook on love was different
She began to settle instead of fight
At the end of the day
She thought she did everything right
Slapped in the face
She didn’t even know
That she was already replaced
All the work she had done
Was thrown down the drain
Hurt so badly
That she would never
Easily love again
She thinks on it daily
What could she have done better
To keep him here with her
I’ve made many choices before
Some turned out better than others
And the rest
Well…
Lest just say that things could have been better
These choices left me in positions
Ones that I have not been in in a while
They almost erased my smile….
Look into my eyes and see the lonely tears
They watched on as their brothers and sister went before them
Across my face and onto the floor
They had no choice but to come forth from my eyes
My eyelids had no choice but to close
And with every beat another one slipped through
My heart is shattered into pieces
Yet every single piece loves you the same as the whole
Just the thought of you warms me
So I guess I know now
How to run from the cold
Though it would be better…
If your body I could hold
I made the choice to stay
Even though it was clear that it would cause me pain
When I was down and out I came back
Again and again
I will always remain out of sight and out of mind
Hurt by something they say is blind
I didn’t want the choice of any other than that one:
The one that I think of more than anything else
The one I love to see smile
The one that I love.
It was my choice
You were my choice
I was unable to change your mind
Stuck with the decision my heart made
Freedom is close
But these choices haunt me like ghosts
As sure as the sky is blue
There are still times
That I think of you
When I look back in the end
I’ll say that I would do it
All over again
What do you do?
When all your dreams
No longer
Belong to you
When your life’s plans
End up
In another’s hand
The ideas
Created together
Are being used
To make another
Happy
What do you say?
When it’s all
Taken away?
In the blink of an eye
The basket with all the eggs
Hits the floor
Nothing for breakfast tomorrow
Where do you go
When the place
You once called home
Feels strange
Like it’s all
Rearranged
What do you do
When you realize
It was never for you
And they never
Loved you
How can the one who is supposed to care
Make you feel the way you do now?
You’re used to smiles and laughter
But there’s only tension when they’re around
One day there are high spirits
The next they are torn down
A back turned to you…mouth zipped shut
They no longer wish to talk
Anger, sadness, and issues
All displaced onto you…
There are other means of self-defense
Why is this the one that they choose?
It’s like the blame is all yours
Everything is your fault
And here comes their wrath
Now you’re alienated from them
Because they want nothing to do with you
Even though they may have been wrong
There is no looking back…
No apologies…
No reservation that wrong was done
They feel like the hurt one
They make look it too…
Because this is what you’re used to
On the outside you show confidence
While inside you have not a clue
Of what you should do…
They continue to act the same
While you aim for a little change
Fed up with all treatment
You accept the fact that you are no longer needed
If this is what they want…
Then…
So be it…
I asked her to dinner and she said no
I had no idea
Why she didn’t want to go with me
I mean isn’t this what you do?
Go grab a bite
Watch a movie or two
She said she was staying in
Didn’t feel too well
I respected her wishes and went to dinner alone
Enjoying the ambiance
Sharing jokes with the servers
Then enters her
On the arms of another
Beaming
I thought I must have been dreaming
I avoided eye contact
Got my dinner to go
Grabbed my coat
Tipped generously
Then headed home
I thought about what happened
It stung just a bit
I know that my endeavors
I’d have to quit
She always said I was a nice guy
Too nice at times
Told me that being mean must be a hard feat
I scoffed
A text came in from her
Saying “Maybe next week?”
Without a second thought
I just hit delete
You have clearly gotten over me
But
How do I get over you?
Nothing I try works
I lie to myself
Trying to reprogram my mind
Overwrite the feelings that are still there
I tell myself that I don’t love you when I do
I still do
I try to replace you with a barrage of people
That fails because at the end of the night
Or next to them the next morning
I end up making comparisons in my head
The things you would have done differently
The words you would have used
They can never be you
I need a remedy for this attachment
To break the connection that I still have
The drunken states I run to
To run from my feelings
Only last so long
The hangover that comes in the morning
Brings the feelings along with it
Closure never reached me
So I am stuck here
With a conflicted heart
Searching for a cure
