I Can Keep It Up…Maybe…

I hold alot of negative feelings inside for long periods of time. I know, I know. It’s not the right thing to do because after some time I will explode. Funny thing is that even when I do explode, I hold back.

There are some who say that I care about myself more than I do others. If they only knew. Things could be so much worst than they are. I could show what not caring looks like. I could show what true betrayal looks like. I could open so many cans of worms, but I do not. I will not. Not now at least.

Yet I still suffer for things that I have not done. Things that I cannot undo. Things that have left scars so deep that the closest resemblance to a memory brings up remnants of the pain.

I never let how I feel overall affect moments of happiness, so that is a positive. I can subdue my emotions well. Years of practice.I suffer alone by choice. My burden.

I’m angry. But no one knows. No one sees. It is the only emotion that I do not wear on my sleeve. I keep it all to myself. It is my anger and I will embrace it. I will raise it. One day, when it is ready, I will let it go. I will let it all go.


How can the one who is supposed to care

Make you feel the way you do now?

You’re used to smiles and laughter

But there’s only tension when they’re around

One day there are high spirits

The next they are torn down

A back turned to you…mouth zipped shut

They no longer wish to talk

Anger, sadness, and issues

All displaced onto you…

There are other means of self-defense

Why is this the one that they choose?

It’s like the blame is all yours

Everything is your fault

And here comes their wrath

Now you’re alienated from them

Because they want nothing to do with you

Even though they may have been wrong

There is no looking back…

No apologies…

No reservation that wrong was done

They feel like the hurt one

They make look it too…

Because this is what you’re used to

On the outside you show confidence

While inside you have not a clue

Of what you should do…

They continue to act the same

While you aim for a little change

Fed up with all treatment

You accept the fact that you are no longer needed

If this is what they want…


So be it…

I Got A Message From You Today (Aftermath)

I got a message from you today
It said that this was the bitter end
As much as you enjoy my company
We can no longer be friends
Aww mehn…
Go on then!
For friends I don’t beg

If you going then go
Dameon says so
The real me you don’t know
The same way I cut cakes
I can cut ties
Easy as pie…not talking bout pizza
Two words for you…See ya
Yea yea
It hurt at first
But I been through worst
So I know it’s your loss and not mine
You see me..
I’ll be just fine
In no time

Please don’t get this twisted
In a day it will be just like
You never existed
Delete me all you want
You’re long erased
I don’t need this excess
Never one to dabble in stress
Cause soon you’ll be back
Like nothing ever went down
You’re in the past as of now
Feel lucky if I even turn around

It’s always the same old shit
And I’m tired of feeling responsible for it
You thought it was all about YOU!
Get over yourself
Say no more
Your arrogance has me rolling on the floor
Go on out that door
Cause you turning into an eye sore

Real recognize real
Why do I see right through you?
Go on…move
Get out the way
I got to go seize the day
You know I don’t play
Time is money and you’re wasting it
When I’m making that bread and cheese
You won’t be one of the ones tasting it

This was in no way my fault
If you can’t handle yourself
And your feelings are out of control
That’s all on you
Do what you need to do
Cuz Imma do me too
So for now I’ll chuck up the deuce
Maybe even put down the index
At least in my mind
Already on to the next