I Can Keep It Up…Maybe…

I hold alot of negative feelings inside for long periods of time. I know, I know. It’s not the right thing to do because after some time I will explode. Funny thing is that even when I do explode, I hold back.

There are some who say that I care about myself more than I do others. If they only knew. Things could be so much worst than they are. I could show what not caring looks like. I could show what true betrayal looks like. I could open so many cans of worms, but I do not. I will not. Not now at least.

Yet I still suffer for things that I have not done. Things that I cannot undo. Things that have left scars so deep that the closest resemblance to a memory brings up remnants of the pain.

I never let how I feel overall affect moments of happiness, so that is a positive. I can subdue my emotions well. Years of practice.I suffer alone by choice. My burden.

I’m angry. But no one knows. No one sees. It is the only emotion that I do not wear on my sleeve. I keep it all to myself. It is my anger and I will embrace it. I will raise it. One day, when it is ready, I will let it go. I will let it all go.

More Underneath

I have never been one to weigh down

Those around me

So I am always Ok

Outwardly unbothered

Even with my sleeves stained

With my feelings

So much bottled up

Words left unsaid

People easily forgiven just to move on

I let go

Yet still hold on

Sharing is easy when you can

Instead I listen and help

Those who need an ear

I am glad that people care

But I’ll keep my thoughts in my mind

I’m Fine…