30 Day Challenge – Day 10

Day 10 – Discuss your first love and first kiss.

I am going to break this into parts because my idea of love has changed and evolved over the years.All names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.

Amber. Kindergarten to Sixth Grade. I don’t know how I knew I loved her, but I always knew that I did. She was bright. There was always an aura around her. She was the first girl that I ever kissed. I know that we were young, but it felt special to me. I used to treat her the way that Steve Urkel would treat Laura Winslow. I used to watch the show every Friday and use the lines and moves on her on Monday. She was the first person that I felt a special way for.

Destiny. Summers from 1998 to 2002. The love that never was. The first girl that hit me with the love at first sight. Her smile hit me and that was it. I was hooked on her. The thing is, I never told her. I never acted on it in the way that I would now. I would just hope that she would be around the following summer. I continued to go back to Dominica until 2005. So, you know what that means. One summer, she moved. In the same week that I got back to the village, I saw her and her family with bags waiting for the bus to the airport. I never saw her again.

Snake. 2004-2005. My only regret. I don’t have any regrets in life, but being with her is one of them. I had my share of bad relationships before, but this is by far the worst. I was madly in love with her for some reason. I know, high school romance is supposed to be fleeting, but I couldn’t help myself at the time. I would have done anything for her and I did. She knew that and maybe that’s why it was so easy for her to take advantage of me. She cheated on me because she knew that I would always take her back each time. Even on my birthday. Yup. No day was sacred. The day I left is the day I took my life back. She taught me that love can hurt horribly at times. I am glad that I took something from it.

Cass. 2007-2011?. Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda. This is the love that I destroyed. I was still broken after snake. I felt that no one could be trusted. I was a wreck. Did so many things that I didn’t have to. I broke her emotionally when all she wanted to do was love me. I wish I could take it all back.

Anne. Current. Real love. This love feels the way that they write about in stories and portray in the movies. There is no forcing or any lies. Everything is going smoothly. I never have a dull day and I always look forward to the next one. She is my inspiration.

30 Day Challenge – Day 09

Day 09 – How you hope your future will be like.

I would like for my future to be one with ease. I want to be financially stable so that I never have to worry. I want to own my own home. I want to take vacations whenever I feel like.

I want my wife by my side through thick and thin. Arguments, surprise dinner dates, date nights, the whole shebang. I want us to be able to fall in love every day as if it were the first time.

I want children running around the house, growing older, then leaving the nest to start their own lives. Eventually they’ll come back with children of their own who want nothing more than to spend time with their grandparents. It would complete the whole family experience.

The future isn’t always clear, but I have faith that it will come close to everything that I wish for here.

30 Day Challenge – Day 08

Day 08 – A moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.

I’ve been on this planet for 27 years now. I must say that it’s been rather dull in my opinion, but I have life, so I’m alright.

The moment that I felt most satisfied with life started late last year. All the negative feelings and thoughts washed away when I met her. I can’t think of a dull moment or any time when I wasn’t content. Everything feels like it’s the way it should be. I’m living the moment that I never want to end.

Before now, I felt satisfied in life during my travels to Dominica. I was free. To do anything that I wanted and be one with nature. I also got to meet family and made friendships that I appreciated.

30 Day Challenge – Day 07

Day 07 – What do you do when you need to escape

Life gets rough. And in those times, we all have our ways out or around whatever is bothering us.

Personally, when I am stressed, I read. Escape this world and enter the next.

If I don’t have a book, then I listen to music and my mood changes.

Lastly, I call my girlfriend and tell her to talk to me. She is my peace in all the chaos.

What do you do to escape?

30 Day Challenge – Day 06

Day 06 – 30 Interesting facts about yourself

01 – I have always liked writing. I used to change children’s stories to stories of my own as a child. Now I write poetry and short stories here and there.

02 – I like bacon. No, I love bacon.

03 – Finding 30 interesting things about me is going to be hard, because I’m too humble.

04 – I graduated valedictorian from high school. I was one of the smartest students in the school from 11th grade.

05 – I don’t like to be hot, I rather be cold.

06 – I do coral reef research. I am focusing on coral diseases. The study that I am currently doing is the first of its kind in my region.

07 – I am going to graduate with my masters in Environmental Science in May.

08 – I like romantic comedies. The combination of jokes and drama makes me happy. I like when they make me shed a tear. My girlfriend needs me to be her rock, so I can’t cry when she cries. 

09 – I was born on the French side of St. Maarten.

10 – Though I’m a scientist, I enjoy cooking and arts and crafts. I don’t believe that just because you do one thing that you can’t do anything else outside that scope.

11 – A good book can steal me away from the world for days at a time if it’s got all the things I look for. Thrillers are my favorite.

12 – The night is my favorite time of the day. I like the dark, but I am fascinated by stars and celestial beings.

13 – Crowds take the joy out of me, but I hate being alone.

14 – I have a fear of being unloved. I have no idea why, seeing that I come from a very loving family.

15 – No heights. No ladders. No rooftops. I hate heights.

16 – Albert Einstein has always been a hero and an inspiration to me. I wanted to be revered as he had been for my mind.

17 – Black is my favorite color.

18 – Eating out is one of my favorite things. I love food. I love trying new foods and new places.

19 – Taste is my favorite sense.

20 – I am allergic to peanuts. I have never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

21 – I wanted to be a doctor, but I changed my mind after my sister and another person nearly died in the waiting room due to “procedure”.

22 – I want to visit the Seven Wonders of the World in order.

23 – I live on an island, but I can’t swim. I have tried to learn many times, but I just keep sinking.

24 – My love life has been cold and lonely up until the past few years. I have only broken up with one out of many girlfriends.

25 – Summers were spent in the rivers and bays of the island of Dominica. I loved getting away from the “city” life and getting closer to nature.

26 – Dressing up is something I enjoy doing. I like changing my look from rugged to fresh, it always surprises people. I like wearing ties.

27 – I love my girlfriend. She brings me so much joy. We’ve only been together for a short time, but it feels like forever.

28 – Home Alone II is my favorite movie of all time.

29 – I LOVE TV shows. When I’m not binging series, I’m watching shows that air weekly. I have a collection of over 70 shows that I have either watched or need to watch.

30 – I like fashion. At one point I was addicted to What Not to Wear and Project Runway. I still use my “fashion sense” daily in conversations with my girlfriend about her wardrobe.

There you have it, 30 facts. If anything tickles your fancy, leave a comment or shoot me an email.

30 Day Challenge – Day 05

Day 05 – A time you thought about ending your own life

Personally, I’m not really good on the subject of suicide. I’ve never attempted it, but I thought about it.

There were periods in my life when I felt like my existence meant little to nothing to those around me. I would think that if I were to go, no one would miss me. I didn’t find love where I wanted to, so I thought it wasn’t for me and ultimately, that this life wasn’t either.

With my fascination with ropes and knots, I would have probably hung myself. I found something to ground me and that was academia. I figured that I would put all of my focus and energy into that. The periods when I felt the worst are where you will find some of my best writing. That was another outlet that I used.

If anyone is feeling like they don’t matter. Trust me. You do. Just hold on and keep holding on. Someone loves you.

30 Day Challenge – Day 04

Day 04 – Your Views on Religion

Well,  quite simply, I’d say that I’m not religious, but I’m spiritual.

I don’t believe in going to church every week. Even though I went to the Moravian School for elementary and the Seventh Day Adventist School for middle through high school. I was religious at first, but I realized that it was all about how you lived your life. I decided to just never be able to apologize for lying, stealing, and killing every single day.

In college I prayed and prayed for my mother’s happiness, as I’d been doing since the sixth grade. I never saw results. I even went to a pastor with questions and all he had to say was “have faith” in response to every question. After that, I only went to church if my significant other asked.

It was hard breaking the news to my devout Catholic mother, but I was honest. In my mind, good people shouldn’t have to go through so much pain.

Anywho, I believe in a higher power. I just don’t know who or what it is.

Secretly, I will not follow the religion that enslaved my ancestors. I just can’t.

I might ruffle feathers, but I’m always honest and to the point.

30 Day Challenge – Day 03

Day 03 – Views on Drugs and Alcohol

My views on drugs and alcohol are very open.

Personally, I wouldn’t do any drugs. I smoke weed socially, but I don’t go out of my way to get it. Other drugs are a no-no for me. If I ever met someone who did other drugs, I would advise them against it, but I would try not to judge them.

Alcohol is something that I like on the other hand. I know my limits and I try to stay far from them. I know personally the effects that alcohol can have on the life of the person and those around them. Since I’m planning on starting a family, I know I’ll need to cut back.

If you drink alcohol, be careful and use in moderation. If you feel addicted to drugs or alcohol, try to get help.

30 Day Challenge – Day 02

Day 02 – Where you’d like to be in 10 years.

In ten years, I’ll be 37. By that time, I would like to own my own home and have at least two cars. I want to be married and be in a state of calm. It has always been my dream to be financially comfortable and that is where I want to be.

I want to be married to my current girlfriend. Still as in love as we are today. I want children. 2 perhaps. A little boy to live out my batman addiction through. From stroller to at least high school, he will think he is batman (as I do to this day). My little girl will be my princess who I won’t be able to say  no to enough. We’ll be happy together.

I want a job that I love and not one that I deplore leaving the house to head to every morning. It has to be dynamic and not the same thing every day. I can’t sit behind a desk for the rest of my life.

Overall, I do not want to live the life that my parents did. I don’t want to be living paycheck to paycheck and scramble to get things done each month. I want myself and my family to be happy.

30 Day Challenge – Day 01

Day 01 – Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is 

To say it simply, my current relationship is amazing.

They say that you have to go through bad to get to what’s waiting out there for you. I have been through alot in my life and I think that with her is where I should be. It’s not perfect, because nothing is, but it’s better than most that I’ve been through. She has been a major inspiration for this blog and my writing.

She makes me happy daily and I love the feeling. I don’t think that I have ever been as content as I am right now. Every moment with her is amazing. We don’t even have to be in the same room to enjoy each other. She makes me laugh by being silly and I do the same for her. There have been moments when we have both driven each other to laughter to the point of tears.

She’s my last thought at night and the first in the morning.

She’s my future. I am happy.