Emotional Don’ts

Happiness and anger

Can both be dangerous

Because they drive us

To do things we shouldn’t

Decisions made in anger

Usually become regrets

Promises made when happy

Are not always planned right

Breathe when the emotions

Try to take over

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Walk On By

In a past life they could have been much more

They could have been lovers

They didn’t want to risk the friendship

So they never followed their hearts

The nights they spent together

Are now pages of a lost chapter

Of dances and wine

So much time spent

Just enjoying one another

They tried to keep in touch

Keep the friendship strong

They could only hold on for so long

Watching one another move on

Feigning happiness day to day

Always sneaking moments to reminisce

On the kisses that they missed

And the ones they let go away

For friendship’s sake

When they do meet each other

They always remember

Years gone by

It’s too late to start anything new

All they can do

Is walk on by

 

My Last

I don’t know if this will do

It’s the best of me

I want to give it all to you

It’s the last of me

I want to use it

To try to complete you

I’ve noticed that you need love

I can offer all that I have

Hopefully it’s good enough for you

For so long I have been trying to share

No one wanted it

They didn’t appreciate it

I am trusting you to be different

It’s fragile

Easily broken

So take care of it

I will show you how

In return I will take care of you

I promise to do the best I can

 

One Step At A Time

Hindsight is a kick in the ass if I ever felt one. I blew up at my girlfriend last night. I should have been able to see that she was only acting out for the entire day because she didn’t want to feel certain emotions. Then again, I’m not perfect. I don’t like not certain feelings myself, and that’s why I explode. I’m learning not to hold things in, but I still have to learn to control the expressions of them.

The thing that made me go crazy was her refusal to lean on me right after some choice words by her. Yup. That’s all. I like open channels in love that we have. That’s all I ever have to ask for.

It may be more personal and psychological than that, but that’s all I can come up with. Now I have to find a way to show her that I still care and that she is off the hook. Halfway at least.

It’s probably bad that I try to force her to speak to me, but I don’t like her holding things in that bother her. Compromise might be needed here. I know if she’d told me exactly what it was earlier, I would have reacted differently. I see now that I also need to work on me. I should always respond with love no matter what.

With the nature of what is actually bothering her, I’ll keep all my opinions to myself. I just know I’m going to say the wrong thing. I’m already thinking the wrong things. Being selfless really takes a toll sometimes. It’s alot of work to put someone else before yourself, but of course, she’s worth it.

I’ll do better next time. I know it.

New Love

New love is a beautiful thing. There’s all the feelings of bliss. The honeymoon phase and all that. It can last for months and even maybe a couple years. Sometimes though it barely lasts weeks.

After what I have seen and experienced, I believe that new love should be nurtured for a while. Meaning that new love should have some kind of foundation. Dating can lead to new love, but dating should last longer than just a couple months. Maybe even a year to a year and a half. A foundation of friendship is one of the best ways to keep relationships going for the long run. Most of the greatest love stories start with “We knew each other for all our lives” or “We were friends for years”.

This kind of love is usually the one that lasts for a lifetime. When people say that they can’t enter relationships with their best friends because they don’t want to change the relationship, I don’t understand it. Being in a relationship should feel no different than being with someone you can call your best friend at the end of the day. I believe that being in love with your best friend is something that can lead to a lifetime of love and happiness. When that new love hatches, it will grow into something beautiful.

This Will Do. For Now.

Right here and right now in the light of the moon

There is something that I need to say

Yes I am and one knee and no I will not get up

This is where I want to be

From here I can show you all the respect you deserve

You have always helped me understand my worth

I exalt and honor you above all and before all I kneel

To express my undying love for you

I surrender my life to you from this day

Until the last day that I take breath

I will give up my life of solitude

Because I’d rather spend an eternity with you

Although I have no ring now

On this night I give to you a preview

Of the day I make it official

The day I make you feel the most special

I Can Keep It Up…Maybe…

I hold alot of negative feelings inside for long periods of time. I know, I know. It’s not the right thing to do because after some time I will explode. Funny thing is that even when I do explode, I hold back.

There are some who say that I care about myself more than I do others. If they only knew. Things could be so much worst than they are. I could show what not caring looks like. I could show what true betrayal looks like. I could open so many cans of worms, but I do not. I will not. Not now at least.

Yet I still suffer for things that I have not done. Things that I cannot undo. Things that have left scars so deep that the closest resemblance to a memory brings up remnants of the pain.

I never let how I feel overall affect moments of happiness, so that is a positive. I can subdue my emotions well. Years of practice.I suffer alone by choice. My burden.

I’m angry. But no one knows. No one sees. It is the only emotion that I do not wear on my sleeve. I keep it all to myself. It is my anger and I will embrace it. I will raise it. One day, when it is ready, I will let it go. I will let it all go.

The Hands It Falls Into

Falling in love can be dangerous because we never know what the other person has in store for out hearts. They can either protect you for the rest of your life and keep you happy or they can destroy you bit by bit each day and send you through a lifetime of painful memories. You never know until it’s too late what they are capable of using “love” to do.

Hurt from love can come from being ill-treated by the one we choose to love. They can berate us and tear us down until we are feeling like nothing. They can cheat on us or beat on us while still being able to say to our faces that they love us. Unrequited love can also lead to hurt and pain. All the love that we withdraw from our love accounts and put into the pockets of another leaves us feeling empty. That’s because there is no love being deposited back to us. It may be the worst hurt of them all in terms of love.

Love has the ability to, over time, heal the broken hearts that are out there. All the memories and insecurities of the past are washed away by the true love being shown. The person then becomes whole again. All the scars mended and all the pain taken away. You get to see the potential of your own love and get to experience something new. Real, true love.

Depending on who holds your heart, love can either hurt you or heal your pain.