Memories aren’t sad
Because of sad events
They are made sad
When we realize
That they are filled
With good moments
That we’ll never have again
Memories aren’t sad
Because of sad events
They are made sad
When we realize
That they are filled
With good moments
That we’ll never have again
Day 10 – Discuss your first love and first kiss.
I am going to break this into parts because my idea of love has changed and evolved over the years.All names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.
Amber. Kindergarten to Sixth Grade. I don’t know how I knew I loved her, but I always knew that I did. She was bright. There was always an aura around her. She was the first girl that I ever kissed. I know that we were young, but it felt special to me. I used to treat her the way that Steve Urkel would treat Laura Winslow. I used to watch the show every Friday and use the lines and moves on her on Monday. She was the first person that I felt a special way for.
Destiny. Summers from 1998 to 2002. The love that never was. The first girl that hit me with the love at first sight. Her smile hit me and that was it. I was hooked on her. The thing is, I never told her. I never acted on it in the way that I would now. I would just hope that she would be around the following summer. I continued to go back to Dominica until 2005. So, you know what that means. One summer, she moved. In the same week that I got back to the village, I saw her and her family with bags waiting for the bus to the airport. I never saw her again.
Snake. 2004-2005. My only regret. I don’t have any regrets in life, but being with her is one of them. I had my share of bad relationships before, but this is by far the worst. I was madly in love with her for some reason. I know, high school romance is supposed to be fleeting, but I couldn’t help myself at the time. I would have done anything for her and I did. She knew that and maybe that’s why it was so easy for her to take advantage of me. She cheated on me because she knew that I would always take her back each time. Even on my birthday. Yup. No day was sacred. The day I left is the day I took my life back. She taught me that love can hurt horribly at times. I am glad that I took something from it.
Cass. 2007-2011?. Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda. This is the love that I destroyed. I was still broken after snake. I felt that no one could be trusted. I was a wreck. Did so many things that I didn’t have to. I broke her emotionally when all she wanted to do was love me. I wish I could take it all back.
Anne. Current. Real love. This love feels the way that they write about in stories and portray in the movies. There is no forcing or any lies. Everything is going smoothly. I never have a dull day and I always look forward to the next one. She is my inspiration.
Love isn’t really blind
It sees clearly the person they were
The person they can still become
The problem arises
When it’s time
To open eyes to the truth
Right in front of us
The bitterest tears that fall
Over the grave of a special someone
Contain all the things
That should have been said
And all the deeds
That should have been done
My heart
Can’t part
With the memories we made
But my body still remembers
That I was once your slave
Swish, swish, swish
My feet hit the soft green grass
Taking strides toward the dirt
I spin my hand and lift it over my head
I release the ball in mid-air
Aimed at the three sticks planted in the ground
It bounces once
Then it heads to the kid with bat in hand
Swoosh
He takes a confident swing with a smile on his face
One that quickly fades away
The bat is extended outward
Crack
The ball hits the makeshift wicket
Pieces of wood fly into the air
Right before hitting the ground
Everyone cheers loudly
They didn’t expect the city kid
To be good at their game
Little did they know
The sport coursed through my veins
Two past generations of athletes
Left me with muscle memory
Moments to fall in love
Forever needed to move on
A love that starts with nothing
Can build into something strong
Even souls become bound to places
Where they have memories of love
Unable to let go of the feelings
That they cannot get free of
I was afraid that
No matter what I did
I’d see you
I’d hear your voice
Visiting places we went
Would cause the memories
To rush back into my head
That was my biggest fear
It almost consumed me
I had to take control
I had to move on
I did
Now I don’t think about you
You’re a distant memory
And the fear is gone
The thoughts plague you
Your mind encapsulates them
While they continue to drive you
Crazy
You want to talk to anyone
But no one will understand
At least that’s what you believe
Everything happens for a reason
Can’t seem to believe that
Never wanting to try new things
Or experience new places
You even shy away from new faces
Head filled with pain
As you stand in the rain
Wishing they would wash away
These thoughts inside you
An idle brain leaves you
So much time to think
About things you rather not
They rush toward you
You’re barely able to process one
Before the next comes
All you want is to be free
From the memories
From the pain
From the tears
It’s hard to fight
The despair
She was hurt
Damaged
Put through more
Than she could handle
At times…
Now she deals
With memories
That are stuck on repeat
The broken promises…
It’s tragic
Not that he broke her
Or that he shattered her dreams
The real tragedy
Is that in all her pain
She stopped being
The good person that she was…