Hard to Hate What You Love

I don’t care if you love me…
Do you?
Not that it matters
I dislike everything about you right now
But I love you so much
I despise every fiber of your body
Though I long for your touch
I can’t stand you around me…
Go jump off a bridge…
Wait! Don’t!
Argh…

You walk around with another…
So what…
Go on with your life and forget about me
It’s what I hoped would be
I say all this while secretly wishing it was me
Wrapped in your stupid arms…
The sight of you makes me sick
But my eyes are peeled on you…
Waiting for you to look over here
Don’t you care?
Well I don’t…care…if…
You’re still not looking

Here you come, (sarcastically) great…
Finally…
When I hear your voice I cover my ears
Not wanting to hear the sound…
Leaving spaces between my fingers
To hear every word you have to say…
You make me sick to my stomach
But you’re the only remedy for me
I love the person that you are…

I’m so upset…
But I can’t stop smiling at you
You make me so angry
Staying that way is hard though
Get away from me!
Still, don’t wander too far…
I need you here…
You can’t see it
But…
I’m trapped in this tug of war
Between my heart and memories
I beg to be set free
From loving you so deeply
With no means of getting away
Feelings change with the day…
The hardest thing to do
Is tell you the truth that…
I want you to stay…

Trapped. Mind. Body. Spirit.

Life’s no fairy tale
Happy endings are seldom many
Some people have no chance of seeing any
It’s just grim
Especially
For him
Coming from less than nothing
Only to still struggle for everything
Searching for something
Himself

Never feeling like he belongs
Never feeling wrong
His love of numbers
Does not stop this set from evading him
Almost keeping him back with every step
But somehow he manages
To see success though he wishes for greater
Everyone talks of never coming back
When he wouldn’t mind just to leave
He would believe in his future
If only he could see it

The only thing that he knows
Is that the future he has
Is certainly uncertain
Looking into it
Would only leave him more confused
With more unanswered questions
Will there be a roof overhead?
Will he even have a bedto lay his head?
How does he solve the problems he faces?
As he counts his paces
He shakes off the thoughts for now
Lest another being brings them up

Honestly concerned for him
Potential is nothing until it is acted upon
He fears that his potential
Will run its time before long
Time is running out
And
He’s still here
Struggling
Running
Before it’s too late
This is one door that when closed
Has no promise of another opening
And he can’t do a thing

The worst part of it all
Makes him feel so small
How can he stand tall
When he’s lost before the start?
Handicapped
Feeling like a burden
Wishing he could repay
All that was done for him in the past
His tab has run farther than he wished
He wants to see the end of this

If he could choose
Then he would just cruise
Into the sunset
But he still would never forget
Family
Coming back when needed

For now
His body is trapped
Not allowing his mind to grow like he wants
Forcing his spirits to be low
Towards his life
Depression is the feeling that is mostly felt
He tries to calm himself down
By reasoning that these are just the cards
That life and fate have dealt

Let Me Out

Get me out of here!

The walls are closing in
The are littered with memories of times gone by
Times when I was down and out
Times when I cried

I can’t breathe!

It’s too much to take
If  I don’t get out soon
I’m afraid I might break
I feel so trapped
The last time I was here
I almost snapped

I bang against the walls
Looking for a way out
No one can hear me
No matter how loud I shout

Get me out of here!

Stop the noise!

I hear the voice of my younger self
Crying…
Wailing…
I cover my ears
But I can’t stop the noise
The voices are all around me
They are ready and poised

“Useless” “Worthless”

Shut up!

“Remember when they left you?”

Yes!

“You were never good enough.”

I try to fight them off but it’s tough
I have been thrown into a room
Somebody give me the key
Save me

Somebody

Anybody

Let me out…