Long Time

She expelled everything

That was on her mind

It was all there for a long time

When she was done

She said thank you

I didn’t understand why

Was is the same reason she cried?

She’s used to being interrupted

But I just wanted to listen

It’s been a long time

Since voice was heard

I wiped the tear

As soon as it glistened

Haunting Choices

I’ve made many choices before
Some turned out better than others
And the rest
Well…
Lest just say that things could have been better
These choices left me in positions
Ones that I have not been in in a while
They almost erased my smile….

Look into my eyes and see the lonely tears
They watched on as their brothers and sister went before them
Across my face and onto the floor
They had no choice but to come forth from my eyes
My eyelids had no choice but to close
And with every beat another one slipped through
My heart is shattered into pieces
Yet every single piece loves you the same as the whole
Just the thought of you warms me
So I guess I know now
How to run from the cold
Though it would be better…
If your body I could hold

I made the choice to stay
Even though it was clear that it would cause me pain
When I was down and out I came back
Again and again
I will always remain out of sight and out of mind
Hurt by something they say is blind
I didn’t want the choice of any other than that one:
The one that I think of more than anything else
The one I love to see smile
The one that I love.

It was my choice
You were my choice
I was unable to change your mind
Stuck with the decision my heart made
Freedom is close
But these choices haunt me like ghosts
As sure as the sky is blue
There are still times
That I think of you
When I look back in the end
I’ll say that I would do it
All over again

This State

The thoughts plague you

Your mind encapsulates them

While they continue to drive you

Crazy

You want to talk to anyone

But no one will understand

At least that’s what you believe

Everything happens for a reason

Can’t seem to believe that

Never wanting to try new things

Or experience new places

You even shy away from new faces

Head filled with pain

As you stand in the rain

Wishing they would wash away

These thoughts inside you

An idle brain leaves you

So much time to think

About things you rather not

They rush toward you

You’re barely able to process one

Before the next comes

All you want is to be free

From the memories

From the pain

From the tears

It’s hard to fight

The despair

You Don’t Even Know

You don’t even know
What you’ve done to her
Actions and words
Still eating at her

You don’t even know
How many pieces
I have to put back together
Cutting my hands and heart
Fixing dreams shattered
Holding everything in place
As it tries to come apart

You don’t even know
How bad’s the condition
After all this time
Of course it’s all conditioned
Every action over thought
Struggling to find
The right words to say
Fears weren’t always there
Now day by day
I help her fight them away

You don’t even know
What you’ve done
You don’t even know
What you gave up on

Battle of the Voices

I try to scream in her direction

Her hands are covering her ears

Trying to drown out the voices in her head

So she doesn’t hear me say

I love you

I know

That she needs to hear it

I try to get her attention

But the voices still scream

In the familiar sound of people from the past

The scars are still deep

Not even the self inflicted ones

Or ones that anyone can see

They reside in her memories

I’m trying to tell her

I love her

But the other voices are battling with me

 

I don’t know who’s winning…

 

Running Was All She Knew

Left, right
Sprinting forward
She runs
For as long as she can remember
She’s been running
From situations she didn’t want to handle
From conversations she didn’t want to have
She ran from the things right in front of her
She was never able to escape
Everything always caught up
Stronger than when she left it
If only she’d dealt with it then

He’d been watching her
For as long as he’s known her
She’s been running
He tries to get her to stop
He tries to get her to slow down
Deal with things before they get bigger
He was proud when she ran to him
Away from something she’d been holding on to
Straight into his arms she ran
He caught her
Holding on to her
She was so tired

He feels the movement
She tries to push off his chest
Things are getting real
Her instincts kick in
She needs to run again
He holds on to her
Shouting her name
Trying to break the trance
Attempting to snap her out of it
She shakes her head
Gathering herself

She’s trying to run
Away from the same love that saved her
Tears stream down her face
Her body wants to run
Conditioning
But her heart won’t let her
Love
He holds her to him
Against the resistance he’ll fight
Fight for her like he always has
His heart is tied to hers
Anchoring her in place
Love keeps her here

Harbinger

She took his heart and drove him away

He was just another victim in the long line

Another casualty

Collateral damage on the dangerous road

He never saw it coming

It was all over in the blink of an eye

He used to be a good guy

Until her

With his heart missing

He would never again be the same

She carefully placed her prize

On the shelf with the others

She smiled to herself

It was so easy

It was always this easy

They practically offered their hearts to her

Instead of turning them away

She took it gladly

Worst than grim when it came to mercy

A collector of hearts was she

Endless Tears

I don’t cry because I can’t get you

Because that’s just how things must be

These tears are not the effect of you leaving

Or because your beautiful face

I can no longer see each day

These tears have a reason

That no one will figure out

They run across my face as though

Slipping from my eyes

And there is no stopping them from falling

I’ve tried and tried…

I’m not crying because I’m hurt

Knowing that my heart

Fell to the dirt right under your foot

Then moments later broke

Or that everything I tried to do

Went up before my eyes

In smoke as the ashes came down

I’m not crying because I gave up

On something that meant so much

These tears are not because I miss you

And everyday I can’t help but think of you

Not even because it could never be

I’m not crying because you couldn’t love me

I’m not crying because we never had a future

Not because things can never go back to the way they were

I cry because I’m afraid

That I’ll be crying forever…