Eternal Anguish

AAAAHHHHH!

How could this happen to me?

Fallen victim once again.

I swore it would never come to this.

I remember the day when

I was down on my knees,

Begging for a release.

Insomnia has become an unwanted friend:

There for me when all are asleep.

We became close easily,

Now a friend I hate to keep.

My head hurts…

Thoughts ringing through.

I don’t know what to do.

My voice is hoarse and ready to leave,

Surprised I can still shout.

Even if it were to go,

It’s something I can do without.

So I open my mouth

And let my heart scream:

It was becoming too much for the poor guy to endure.

Broke the down the lacrimal dams,

Let the tears leak onto the floor.

Their paths down my face

Are still clearly traced,

And their origins…

Just empty space.

My fists are clenched so tightly

That the flow of blood has almost stopped,

But through it all,

Not once has my pen dropped:

Bleeding every emotion that I feel

Onto these lines of these pages,

As I go through these stages

Of this thing called love.

In my chest it seems

That something is missing,

Listen…

Faint beat.

I’ve lost the feeling in my feet,

Knees once again to the floor,

Asking for nothing more

Than to not be awake.

How much more of this

Will I have to take?

I don’t want to live

With this constant

Heartache…

 

Running From a Savior

Day by day I feel you start to slip
I try to tighten my grip…
But it always remains just to loose
Then I realize that you’re fighting
The stranger holding your arm
When I never meant you any harm
In your eyes…
I’m no longer the same…
I try calling your name…
But my voice is an unfamiliar sound
You don’t turn around
I walk away with my head down
What we were is all I ever wanted to be
Now it’s just a memory
You don’t know me…
Not anymore…
I really deplore
The way things are now
I don’t know how
They ever got this way
I thought you would always stay
I hope everything will be alright
I hope I make it through the lonely nights
I hope I don’t shed too many tears
Wishing you were still here
Then I remember
That at the end of my rope
I had almost given up hope
Today…
I let my white horse run away
And I hang up my armor
Because I could no longer save the day
I wish I could go back in time
Back to when you where mine
Back to the time that I…
I felt alive

La Maldicion (The Curse)

Alone…Solitario
A decision?
Might as well make it a conscious one
La decision de quedarse solo (The decision of being alone)
One that might save me in the future
From what I try to avoid
Keeping me at peace
Salvacion (Salvation)
Freedom

You know what I mean
But what does running get you?
Sooner or later
That which you run from catches you
It devours you
Ahogamiento que en la ascuridad (Drowning in the darkness)
It’s never easy this thing
When one gives too much
If I had known this was to come
I’d have stopped from doing as such
Experience taught me so much
I could have gotten a golden star
Como podria olvidar? (How could I forget?)
Or did I just refuse to listen?
Thinking that this time
Things would be different

It’s that time again
Once more hitting the road
As a comfort bringing friend
Donde esta el equilibrio? (Where is the balance)
How much further should I go?
To find an escape
A place where I no longer have to run
Is there no way to break
La maldicion? (The curse)

I Hate This Poem

First of all I want to say that I hate this poem

Even though the words in it are so true

I hate every word in every line

All because this poem talks about you

That long walk we took was our last

From that day I left you in my past

But somehow your memory keeps coming back

Placing me under constant attack

I try to drown you with the happiness that I feel now

But you just swim up to the surface and pull me under

Why do I constantly think of what you have done?

Maybe because there was no closure

To the thing that we had

That ended the way that it did

It took me too long to realize

Even when I did find out

You felt that you didn’t have to apologize

So on that one word I wait

Until that day that you can finally say

That you were wrong

 

I hate this poem…

Because it talks about you

Yes…

I’m sad…

But I’m also glad

That I moved on and found better

Remember that letter?

It’s been torn to shreds

All the feelings you supposedly put into it

Are now dead

Turned into the confetti…

To use at my party

Where the candle was your picture

That day I celebrated your departure

Better yet…

I celebrated the day I escaped your capture

Broke free from the spell

You were no longer the person for whom I fell

They say that time will tell

And it did…

 

I hate this poem…

Because it talks about you

I wish you’d run up to me again

Act like we were ever friends

All I’ll have to ask

Is if I know you

I want everyone around to hear too

That look on your face will be priceless

I have to confess

That it will be hard not to laugh

At the sight of you looking confused

I’ll simply walk away

With my head held high to the sky

Leaving you behind

Without hesitating to ever look back

You can call to me as much as you like

This guy does as he chooses

And as my feet hit the dirt one by one

I’ll chuck up the deuces

 

I hate this poem

I really hate this poem

Because I wrote it for   you

Emptiness

To say that I am happy now
Would be far from true
This void was not always here
It was once filled by you
It was such a shock to me
When that dark day came
We were strangers to one another
No longer the same

Not a day goes by
That you are not on my mind
I was truly happy back then
I can’t leave those memories behind
My nights were not this lonely
I always had you to hold
Now I reach out into nothingness
When I start to feel cold
You are no longer here
To make me feel warm
Tell me how I make you feel
And fall alseep in my arms

No more late night texts
Giving a reason to fight sleep
Who would have known
That these feelings were so deep?
When my phone rings
I wish it was you on the other line
Checking as you always did
To make sure I was fine
I search each day
For a way to get through this
The well has run dry
And now the water is missed
My lips still cry out
For just one more kiss

You made my life a movie
And I enjoyed every scene
But we never made the production
This film will never be seen
Everything happens for a reason
That’s what they say
Why wasn’t there a reason
That would cause you to stay?
One day I will move on
But I have a lot of work to do still
You set the bar so high
Left big shoes to be filled

I try to forget about you
But my heart refuses
Love is blind
It doesn’t know who it chooses
I was not ready for this
I can’t stand the rain
I would give the world
To have you back again

Why Do We Do This

Enjoying the time now because it will end soon.
They stare up together into the moon.

On his lips she plants a kiss,
Then she asks him, “Why do we do this?
Why do we do this when the future is written in stone.
My heart will never be yours and yours will never be mine to own.
Why is it that even though this is only temporary,
There is no other place that I’d rather be.
If I know it cannot be, why are you the one I prefer?”
She says the words as she moves in a bit closer.

His Silence remains for a while as he thinks about what she said.
He starts his response after he kisses her on the head.
“We both want the same thing: someone to just be there.
We are both in need of someone to show that they care.
At times I know that it may be hard to understand,
But you need to realize that we are only human.
If I wanted, I could make you the only one:
Because with you everything seems so fun.”

They hold on to each other, not making a sound.
They are both glad about what they found.
They remain together in that close embrace,
Then he takes his hand and holds her face.
They look each other deep in the eyes,
But in their heads all that’s heard is why.
Why do they do this when it will soon end?
But then again why hide feelings and try to pretend?
They know they have something that will soon go,
So the theme they stick to is..
“Go with the flow”

But Still…

She’s been broken and I see all the cracks

I see the scars on her back

The bandages are starting to peel

New ones need to be applied and I’m just the guy

Time has healed some wounds

Some have never gotten the chance to close

The lack of closure and expression leaving them exposed

She was unable to hold them all closed at the same time

She needed help to hold it all together

Happiness was needed to fill in the empty spaces

True love needed to be known

She held herself together for as long as she could all alone

No longer will that be the case

She had conformed to what she knew

So the old habits push away anyone new

Through it all I stand firm

I will not leave

I will push back until healing has been achieved

She was dragged through dirt

Been thoroughly hurt

Now I stand in the shower with her

Washing away the mess and the pain

Wiping away her tears

Saying it won’t happen ever again

With each kiss I see change

She smiles more

She forgets what she was put through

The road may be long

But it’s a job I love to do

She has been broken

But still…

I love h3r

Broken Optimism

Laughter fills the room
Everyone seems to be enjoying the day
But not him
He is in a corner thinking away
His eyes are focused
He is no longer in this world
He has entered his
Where nothing is ever what it is

Tap him and receive a blank stare
Like he’s looking through you
You can never know how he feels
Do you even know what he has to go through
He thinks about the life he lives
He sees that Live backwards is Evil
Hmm, now what does that say about life?

When you turn things around
They get a different sound
A different meaning
But why can’t he turn around bad
And get good
He would if he could

Look at the pain in his eyes
They tell no lies
They are filled with why’s

Why fall in love only to get your heart broken
Broken into so many different pieces
Pieces that you allow no one else to help mend
Mend back into something that can again love?
Why attempt anything when there is a chance to fail
Fail so horribly that you never again try
Try to get what you can never have
Have to be crazy for making the same mistakes over and over

“Smile, everything will be alright.”
Yea…right
If he could choose
He would never have anything
That he could lose

Life made him
Change from being Optimistic
Now when happiness comes
He rather opt to miss it

Hold On

Let me tell you something, if you feel like letting go
How to pick yourself up, so you no longer feel low
No matter what life throws at you, never stop from trying
Do everything else, you can even resort to crying
Try these steps out, I know you got friends
Doesn’t matter who, or how much time you spend
Ok, call them up, wait a while, let the phone ring
I know you want to hang up, but you’ll do no such thing
Ah, they picked up, now let your feelings out
Tell them everything, what the situation is about
Say what you need to say, keep nothing in
Let your soul speak out, from deep within
When you done venting, something good will come after
The both of you will feel happy, and be filled with laughter
Don’t you feel better? I knew this would help you
You can always do this, when you don’t have a clue
We’re here when you need us, only one call away
Some might leave, but the real friends will stay
We are all humans, I have no expertise
But I can tell you this, life comes with little ease
I’m always here, if you need someone to call upon
My message will remain the same, simply…Hold on

Why Do You Stay?

Why do you stay?
You go through this everyday
Your the one who pays
Hearing him call you these names
Having your name defamed
Things are no longer the same
The fire has dwindled and lost its flame

Let me take you outta that pain
Come here, get out of the rain
He keeps causing you pain
Treat a woman like you so bad he must be insane
Maybe I should just drive a bullet to his brain
But my outstanding citizenship I gotta maintain
I can’t do anything else, so I must complain
Your attempts to do good only end up in vain

All the tears that rain from your frame
With me it won’t be the same
I’ll only gives you tears of joy
Time with me won’t be hated only enjoyed
I’ll always build you up, never destroy
What you see is what you get, this is no decoy

You say you can’t leave
I say that’s so hard to believe
I see the tears drown your sleeve
So why do you remain naive?
Open your eyes and clearly perceive
That your brain has got you deceived

I know you have more sense
That’s not love, but simply violence
He doesn’t love you when sending you to the wall
I don’t care if the bruise is big or small
It wasn’t you that tripped I know he made you fall

What you need is an escape
I got the ‘K’ on my chest along with my cape
I can’t take this
No longer want to be a witness
You say he loves you but he calls you a bitch
You gotta know that something better exists
Put an end to tears making your eyes red
Please let this message get to your head
Take in the words that I’ve said
Act quickly cause I don’t want to see you…
End up dead…